As Valentine’s Day is approaching…
Friends, I'm excited to share with you an "aha moment" I had with God while talking about a future spouse.
I'm motivated to share this because we are almost to Valentine's Day. The stores have lots of red, pink, and white hearts overflowing the shelves right now, and this can feel sad & disappointing for many of us without a romantic partner, a mate, or a spouse. Another year without a significant other.... I feel you, friends!!
Here we are, one year into the pandemic with the "stay at home" orders. And, although I lean on the side of introvert, being alone and isolating from people during this time has been really hard for me. Maybe you can relate?
If there is one thing that has been clearly known to me during this pandemic is that I need people.
In the summer months of 2020 I was talking to the Lord about this idea of people being alone, and how hard it is for us. I felt the Lord agree that being alone, ongoing, is not good.
Isolation is a punishment for prisoners, for heinous crimes they once committed.
This conversation about "being alone is not good" merged with talking about a future spouse. I was chatting with the Lord about how Adam was in the garden and it was not good for him to be alone (Genesis 2:18). Adam learned none of the animals were suitable to fill his need. And then God created, Eve. This is where my "aha moment" came.
God showed me that Adam was in the garden with GOD, the Creator of the universe, literally walking, talking, and hanging out with together. Yet....God pointed out in scripture that Adam had an emptiness, a void, was alone, in need of a mate. But Adam was with God, how could Adam be alone, have a void, and need companionship outside of God? Was God not enough for Adam?
When I was younger I had a deep longing for a husband.
The song "Draw Me Close", by Michael W Smith, was popular at the time and the lyrics say:
"You're all I want,
You're all I've ever needed
You're all I want..."
This song became popular across the United States in churches everywhere, sung as part of worship time. And there are beautiful parts to this song, the message of wanting more of God, being close to Him, etc. Yet, sermons across the globe encouraged us that God was enough, that He is all we need.
So, when I had this deep longing for a husband I felt guilty, as though this desire was wrong. According to what I had heard - God was all I was supposed to need or want, right? I wondered why God wasn't enough for me. Did I not love Him enough?
Yet I also knew having a husband wasn't wrong - God designed marriage, He loves marriage, —so you can see how I had this inner conflict!
Friends, while talking to the Lord about Adam needing a mate, it was as though the Lord was saying "YES, exactly Liz! The desire & need for a mate was put inside of mankind by Me, from the beginning, woven into mankind’s very design."
Here's what the Lord showed me....that even though Adam was walking, talking, and hanging out with God in the garden, his relationship with God wasn't ALL he was designed for. God designed us for Himself (first and foremost) and also to have relationship with others. There are more reasons for this too, one is for having children.
Isolation and being alone long-term is not good for us. This doesn't mean everyone is to get married though. Not everyone wants to get married. Perhaps not everyone “should” get married (wink wink).
However, this truth about needing relationships shows us that it's OK to want a spouse. It's OK to want a mate. These desires and longings are perfectly normal, there is no shame. There is no embarrassment of having this deep longing.
So please be released of any shame or embarrassment you might have ever felt in having a deep desire for marriage. This desire makes sense. You were made for relationship, connection, intimacy.
I bless your desire for a spouse and I pray for the Lord to meet this need, and all your needs, especially those in relation to a mate, as you wait! —Hang in there. God is with you in the waiting.
*To check out my short video on the topic head over to the Liz Hill Ministries Instagram page!
A Prayer From My Heart
“Lord, thank you for designing us for having relationships. For love. You designed us to be loved by You and others, and to love You and others. We are waiting, Lord. Waiting for our mates, our companions, our spouses. Will you provide regular connection and all that we need along our journey of waiting. Send us great friends, fill our relational and emotional buckets. I acknowledge that You love to help us. Help us to trust You as we wait. I love you, Lord.”
Amen.
*Follow me on Facebook and Instagram (@lizhillministries) for more stories and fresh inspiration!